Momma and Daddy used a lot of 'strategies' to teach their 4 kiddos.
I remember rewards. I remember punishment. I remember guilt.
Dad would tell you his parenting was a 'learn as you go' affair. He would admit (as most of us parents would) that there is no instruction manual... the training is definitely 'on-the-job'.
As a daddy of 3 girls, it is still a work in progress for me...
My least favorite method of motivation - both as a parent and a child - is guilt. I never have believed it was good or fair... but millions of parents use guilt to elicit desired behavior from their offspring. Because it is effective. It preys on our human desire to please... on our desire to perform to a standard and be recognized for what 'we do'...
but as I think of the 'daddy' metaphor that pervades the God story, I become more convinced that guilt has no place in motivating the Believer. none.
but for my entire life, preachers and teachers and youth leaders and, yes, parents have used words like 'ought to' and 'should' to produce behavior that they (the preacher/teacher/youthleader/parent) believe 'proves' the performers' faithfulness.
in fact, that guilt-based method causes us to perform like the Pavlovian Dog responding to a bell... and it has very little to do with Walk or Faith or Spirituality.
it has only to do with us, and how well we can perform. Sorta leaves out the CrossWork, doesn't it?
that's unhealthy. and it is unGodly.
and it causes us to forget the simple truth:
our 'works' are a result of our Salvation, NOT the cause of it.
no wonder we have such a hard time simply living in His Love and walking in Him.
so, where do 'ought' and 'should' belong?
nowhere in the life of a Believer, that's for sure!
Blessings!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
what would it look like
think with me for a minute...
If we knew nothing of our 'church heritage', then discovered Jesus..... what would 'church' look like?
no matter if you're Baptist, Presbyterian, Catholic, Assembly, Church of Christ, Lutheran, Episcopal, Methodist, Christian or any other religious brand....
no matter if your parents 'took you to church' every time the doors were open or if you never 'went to church' much at all....
no matter if you were raised very 'fundamentalist arch-conservative' or very 'holy-roller'...
what would happen if we could slough that off like a snake loses its skin?
I know we are all a product of our experience. I get that. And I realize that's a huge part of who we are...
But with regard to spirituality and religion and such, it seems that THAT part of our 'make-up' is more 'who we are' than any other part of our upbringing experience.
Why do we subconsciously assign greater importance to religious tradition than other traditions?
For example, we used to visit the cemetery on Memorial Day (by we, I mean most people in my extended family). We would bring flowers and other decorative items and make the graves prettier... then we would actually take our blankets and spread them out ON TOP OF THE GRAVES of our dearly departed loved ones! Then we would eat! while sitting on top of their graves!
Here, as I sit and reflect on that, there is nothing that appears sane about that. I can think of no reason we should EVER eat in a cemetery... much less on someone's grave! Especially for believers who know the soul and body separated at death...
Anyhow, I digress. I know I may offend some of you by saying what I just said... you may still hold 'decoration day' or your version of 'dinner on the grounds' as a sacred tradition. I don't. I respect your tradition, but I choose not to participate...
and for most folks, it is ok that I don't take part in their tradition.
But when we place that tradition in a spiritual context (and, to give it weight, we attach Bible significance to it through some weird misapplied contortion), aaahhh, NOW we got a problem!
now my tradition turns into something YOU need to apply to your life.
and if you don't... well, we really can't be friends.
Ridiculous, isn't it?
So the question is still: what would it look like if we tried to 'cast off' our learned behavior and just tried to read the Bible and live in His Love?
And, by the way, I am not talking about replacing our traditions with those of our fathers or grandfathers or even the traditions of those who walked with Jesus.
I am talking about truly letting God's Word become alive in our lives and allowing it to speak to us and mold us into exactly what He wants us to be.
what would that look like?
I suggest that 'church' would look a lot less 'institutional'... and may not include things like buildings and budgets and boards of directors.
and it most certainly wouldn't be a 'place' we 'attended' once or twice a week.
Blessings!
If we knew nothing of our 'church heritage', then discovered Jesus..... what would 'church' look like?
no matter if you're Baptist, Presbyterian, Catholic, Assembly, Church of Christ, Lutheran, Episcopal, Methodist, Christian or any other religious brand....
no matter if your parents 'took you to church' every time the doors were open or if you never 'went to church' much at all....
no matter if you were raised very 'fundamentalist arch-conservative' or very 'holy-roller'...
what would happen if we could slough that off like a snake loses its skin?
I know we are all a product of our experience. I get that. And I realize that's a huge part of who we are...
But with regard to spirituality and religion and such, it seems that THAT part of our 'make-up' is more 'who we are' than any other part of our upbringing experience.
Why do we subconsciously assign greater importance to religious tradition than other traditions?
For example, we used to visit the cemetery on Memorial Day (by we, I mean most people in my extended family). We would bring flowers and other decorative items and make the graves prettier... then we would actually take our blankets and spread them out ON TOP OF THE GRAVES of our dearly departed loved ones! Then we would eat! while sitting on top of their graves!
Here, as I sit and reflect on that, there is nothing that appears sane about that. I can think of no reason we should EVER eat in a cemetery... much less on someone's grave! Especially for believers who know the soul and body separated at death...
Anyhow, I digress. I know I may offend some of you by saying what I just said... you may still hold 'decoration day' or your version of 'dinner on the grounds' as a sacred tradition. I don't. I respect your tradition, but I choose not to participate...
and for most folks, it is ok that I don't take part in their tradition.
But when we place that tradition in a spiritual context (and, to give it weight, we attach Bible significance to it through some weird misapplied contortion), aaahhh, NOW we got a problem!
now my tradition turns into something YOU need to apply to your life.
and if you don't... well, we really can't be friends.
Ridiculous, isn't it?
So the question is still: what would it look like if we tried to 'cast off' our learned behavior and just tried to read the Bible and live in His Love?
And, by the way, I am not talking about replacing our traditions with those of our fathers or grandfathers or even the traditions of those who walked with Jesus.
I am talking about truly letting God's Word become alive in our lives and allowing it to speak to us and mold us into exactly what He wants us to be.
what would that look like?
I suggest that 'church' would look a lot less 'institutional'... and may not include things like buildings and budgets and boards of directors.
and it most certainly wouldn't be a 'place' we 'attended' once or twice a week.
Blessings!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
it's not about me
I was reminded last night -again - of an important tenet to remember when discovering and uncovering God's word.
during our Wednesday night Bible study, we talked about the 5th commandment. We all turned to Deuteronomy 5:16 and read the text...
then we had a discussion about what it means to 'honor' your dad and mom.... pretty meaningful sharing and testimony, and rather lively study about how it relates to us.
The thing I was reminded of is that this passage - like every other passage - is not about us. It is about God.
in this instance, the language is of covenant relationship with the Creator. The "so that it may be well with you and that you may live long in the land which God prepared for you" phrase is used a dozen or so times in the several chapters surrounding the Deuteronomy text...
so whether He is referring to "keeping His decrees" (Deut 4:40) or "fearing Him and keeping His commands" (Deut 5:29) or "being careful to obey" (Deut 6:3) or "honoring father and mother" (5:16), the central character is God and the central theme is 'honoring' and 'obeying' and 'fearing' and 'revering' HIM! it's about maintaining that Covenant Relationship with THE FATHER.
so the foundational key to honoring mom and dad is to honor God. We cannot honor our father unless we first honor Father.
Sometimes we fail (I fail) to see God in scripture because I am (we are) studying it from our own perspective.... and with me as the story's focus, the story loses its meaning, it loses its 'aliveness'.
and that inevitably robs us of the clear and simple meaning of the story.
The Bible Story is God's story. Reading the Bible without recognizing THAT is akin to reading "the grapes of wrath" and forgetting that it's Tom Joad's story.
When we remember that the Bible must be seen from God's perspective as His story, only then will we truly begin to 'get it'.
and for most of my life, I have begun my study through the lens of 'what does this mean for me?' and I have missed it, for the most part...
back to the 5th commandment...
we can talk about respecting our parents and helping them and taking care of them when they're old and not talking back to them when we're young. and those are all be admirable ways to 'treat' our parents, to be sure.
but all that misses the point of the commandment...
because, as we discussed last night, that 'treatment' (seen through human eyes) is about us and our relationship with our earthly parents... so what happens when our parents are neglectful, abusive, disturbed, horrible parents? Well, there is no way on earth we can honor parental monsters with the same 'honor' that others 'honor' their more loving and nurturing parents.
Because that sort of 'honor' depends upon us.
Bottom line: the only way any of this works is if we stop thinking of this (or any) commandment as being 'about us'.
the thread that ties this all together, so that everyone may adhere to this - and any - commandment is God. the One about whom the story is written!
you wanna honor your parents?
Honor God. seek covenant relationship with Him.
...no matter what you mom or dad may think about that.... and no matter what kind of parents they are/were, THAT is the answer to obeying the 5th commandment.
remember, it's not about me.
Blessings
during our Wednesday night Bible study, we talked about the 5th commandment. We all turned to Deuteronomy 5:16 and read the text...
then we had a discussion about what it means to 'honor' your dad and mom.... pretty meaningful sharing and testimony, and rather lively study about how it relates to us.
The thing I was reminded of is that this passage - like every other passage - is not about us. It is about God.
in this instance, the language is of covenant relationship with the Creator. The "so that it may be well with you and that you may live long in the land which God prepared for you" phrase is used a dozen or so times in the several chapters surrounding the Deuteronomy text...
so whether He is referring to "keeping His decrees" (Deut 4:40) or "fearing Him and keeping His commands" (Deut 5:29) or "being careful to obey" (Deut 6:3) or "honoring father and mother" (5:16), the central character is God and the central theme is 'honoring' and 'obeying' and 'fearing' and 'revering' HIM! it's about maintaining that Covenant Relationship with THE FATHER.
so the foundational key to honoring mom and dad is to honor God. We cannot honor our father unless we first honor Father.
Sometimes we fail (I fail) to see God in scripture because I am (we are) studying it from our own perspective.... and with me as the story's focus, the story loses its meaning, it loses its 'aliveness'.
and that inevitably robs us of the clear and simple meaning of the story.
The Bible Story is God's story. Reading the Bible without recognizing THAT is akin to reading "the grapes of wrath" and forgetting that it's Tom Joad's story.
When we remember that the Bible must be seen from God's perspective as His story, only then will we truly begin to 'get it'.
and for most of my life, I have begun my study through the lens of 'what does this mean for me?' and I have missed it, for the most part...
back to the 5th commandment...
we can talk about respecting our parents and helping them and taking care of them when they're old and not talking back to them when we're young. and those are all be admirable ways to 'treat' our parents, to be sure.
but all that misses the point of the commandment...
because, as we discussed last night, that 'treatment' (seen through human eyes) is about us and our relationship with our earthly parents... so what happens when our parents are neglectful, abusive, disturbed, horrible parents? Well, there is no way on earth we can honor parental monsters with the same 'honor' that others 'honor' their more loving and nurturing parents.
Because that sort of 'honor' depends upon us.
Bottom line: the only way any of this works is if we stop thinking of this (or any) commandment as being 'about us'.
the thread that ties this all together, so that everyone may adhere to this - and any - commandment is God. the One about whom the story is written!
you wanna honor your parents?
Honor God. seek covenant relationship with Him.
...no matter what you mom or dad may think about that.... and no matter what kind of parents they are/were, THAT is the answer to obeying the 5th commandment.
remember, it's not about me.
Blessings
Friday, July 17, 2009
night sounds and wind machines
A friend recently commented about how the rain woke them up one night.... so I mentioned they might benefit from a wind machine...
to which he responded that they just used a fan and weren't as fancy as me...
...interestingly enough, that's where my sound addiction started...
as a small child, my mum would set up a small box fan in the hallway.... we lived by the highway under the viaduct, you see...
and over the years, I graduated from a small fan to the harder stuff... you know, high speed oscillators. then after Kelly and I were married, she said we had to do something different... she was not letting me bring my industrial 6 foot, 220v floor fan into the house.
so the compromise was the wind machine from Sears and Roebuck.
fancy you say? maybe. expedient I say. and a marriage saver.... we now have one in each bedroom, and even have a travel version for hotel rooms!
so make fun at your own peril, fanners of the world!
Windmachiners unite!
to which he responded that they just used a fan and weren't as fancy as me...
...interestingly enough, that's where my sound addiction started...
as a small child, my mum would set up a small box fan in the hallway.... we lived by the highway under the viaduct, you see...
and over the years, I graduated from a small fan to the harder stuff... you know, high speed oscillators. then after Kelly and I were married, she said we had to do something different... she was not letting me bring my industrial 6 foot, 220v floor fan into the house.
so the compromise was the wind machine from Sears and Roebuck.
fancy you say? maybe. expedient I say. and a marriage saver.... we now have one in each bedroom, and even have a travel version for hotel rooms!
so make fun at your own peril, fanners of the world!
Windmachiners unite!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
the "it'll be better when..." game
It's a dangerous game. We've all played it...
When you live in that game, you are robbed of the now. It is an invention of Satan himself, and is a breath-sucking, joy-robbing, grace-stealing path. it is easy to play, even natural in some ways...
let me encourage us all to take the advice offered in this line from an obscure little song:
May God bless us as we live in His now and His Grace.
"It'll be better when ______________________ ."
When you live in that game, you are robbed of the now. It is an invention of Satan himself, and is a breath-sucking, joy-robbing, grace-stealing path. it is easy to play, even natural in some ways...
let me encourage us all to take the advice offered in this line from an obscure little song:
live in the moment,
before the moment slips away...
May God bless us as we live in His now and His Grace.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
so what IS the church? (a refresher)
the word is ecclesia. Literally translated, it means 'the called out'.
any reference to the word or to the idea or concept of 'church' in Holy Writ depicts a people.... a group... a movement.... a body.
'Bible' buildings - locations - have names like synagogues or temples or tabernacles. but never - not even one time - is ecclesia (church) used to describe a place or location or a building.
We say we 'get it', but our very language betrays us.
We have forever emphasized the importance of "bringing 'em to church" or "gettin 'em to come back to church" or a hundred other phrases which misuse the word...
worse yet, our language betrays our ignorance of what we are called to do. We are not called to produce attenders, we are called to make disciples!
We are tasked NOT with filling up our buildings 2 hours a week, but with drawing people into relationship with Jesus Christ!
When I sometimes make a big point of this, people often scoff as if to say "yeah, we get it, but it's no big deal"
I disagree. It is THE BIG deal. The very central key to most every 'church problem' in history is tied to the misuse and resultant misunderstanding of exactly what 'church' is.
I have watched for decades as we vilify each other over stupid, meaningless, inane arguments. And EVERY ONE OF THOSE ARGUMENTS deals with how we 'do church'.... or some other 'locationcentric' issue.
just another indictment of our misunderstanding of what we are and what we are to be about. It makes me sick at my stomach. and Satan is winning.
So forgive me if I am militant about using words properly. Words mean things.
And if we continue to perpetuate ignorance (willingly or not) through our language and our actions, how can we be surprised when our kids and their kids finally look up and wake up and wonder... "Is this IT? ...there's gotta be something more."
God help us! My ardent prayer is that the Spirit will guide those honest seekers (our children and grandchildren) to relationship with their Savior. My fear is that we will have so thoroughly missed it - then passed along our 'missing it' to our offspring - that our kiddos will be disenchanted with Religion to the point that they run from it and miss the true and living God of creation.
Is the church important? VITALLY! But I believe we have confused the local church (and it's buildings and other accoutrements) with the 'ecclesia' to the point that we fail to understand the distinction.
It seems clear that there are bunches of 'church-attenders' all over the world which are a part of His Body, right?... doesn't it also make sense that there are tons of church-attenders who have no relationship with Him? Can they be considered a part of His Body if they have not first developed relationship with God through His Son?
But we have gotten the cart so far ahead of it's conveyance, we can't even see its tail!
When we misuse the language, we pervert Acts 2:47...
note: Jesus added the saved to His church. Jesus did not add church-attenders to the saved.
We must divorce ourselves from the notion of 'inviting people to church' and instead invite people to relationship with Jesus.... when we think of our mission through that lens, it takes on a much more vibrant, exciting and real meaning!
oh, and by the way, when we help lead people to the Risen Lord, I am convinced the 'church attendance' will be exactly what God wants it to be... but be warned: it - 'church attendance' - will likely NOT look and smell like anything to which we've become accustomed...
It's not that our local church buildings are bad places. It's just that we have apparently vastly overestimated our church building's saving power. .... and it has none.
May God Bless us as we lead others to Him through His Son.
any reference to the word or to the idea or concept of 'church' in Holy Writ depicts a people.... a group... a movement.... a body.
It NEVER refers to a building. EVER!
'Bible' buildings - locations - have names like synagogues or temples or tabernacles. but never - not even one time - is ecclesia (church) used to describe a place or location or a building.
We say we 'get it', but our very language betrays us.
We have forever emphasized the importance of "bringing 'em to church" or "gettin 'em to come back to church" or a hundred other phrases which misuse the word...
worse yet, our language betrays our ignorance of what we are called to do. We are not called to produce attenders, we are called to make disciples!
We are tasked NOT with filling up our buildings 2 hours a week, but with drawing people into relationship with Jesus Christ!
When I sometimes make a big point of this, people often scoff as if to say "yeah, we get it, but it's no big deal"
I disagree. It is THE BIG deal. The very central key to most every 'church problem' in history is tied to the misuse and resultant misunderstanding of exactly what 'church' is.
I have watched for decades as we vilify each other over stupid, meaningless, inane arguments. And EVERY ONE OF THOSE ARGUMENTS deals with how we 'do church'.... or some other 'locationcentric' issue.
just another indictment of our misunderstanding of what we are and what we are to be about. It makes me sick at my stomach. and Satan is winning.
So forgive me if I am militant about using words properly. Words mean things.
And if we continue to perpetuate ignorance (willingly or not) through our language and our actions, how can we be surprised when our kids and their kids finally look up and wake up and wonder... "Is this IT? ...there's gotta be something more."
God help us! My ardent prayer is that the Spirit will guide those honest seekers (our children and grandchildren) to relationship with their Savior. My fear is that we will have so thoroughly missed it - then passed along our 'missing it' to our offspring - that our kiddos will be disenchanted with Religion to the point that they run from it and miss the true and living God of creation.
Is the church important? VITALLY! But I believe we have confused the local church (and it's buildings and other accoutrements) with the 'ecclesia' to the point that we fail to understand the distinction.
It seems clear that there are bunches of 'church-attenders' all over the world which are a part of His Body, right?... doesn't it also make sense that there are tons of church-attenders who have no relationship with Him? Can they be considered a part of His Body if they have not first developed relationship with God through His Son?
But we have gotten the cart so far ahead of it's conveyance, we can't even see its tail!
When we misuse the language, we pervert Acts 2:47...
note: Jesus added the saved to His church. Jesus did not add church-attenders to the saved.
We must divorce ourselves from the notion of 'inviting people to church' and instead invite people to relationship with Jesus.... when we think of our mission through that lens, it takes on a much more vibrant, exciting and real meaning!
oh, and by the way, when we help lead people to the Risen Lord, I am convinced the 'church attendance' will be exactly what God wants it to be... but be warned: it - 'church attendance' - will likely NOT look and smell like anything to which we've become accustomed...
It's not that our local church buildings are bad places. It's just that we have apparently vastly overestimated our church building's saving power. .... and it has none.
May God Bless us as we lead others to Him through His Son.
Friday, July 10, 2009
what are we chasing?
I remember hearing my uncles making fun of adolescent boys 'chasing girls'... saying things like "they wouldn't know what to do with one if they caught her!"
Probably a lot of truth to that... but, well, us boys grew up and most of us - thankfully - figured out "what to do with 'em".... (I mean that in a good wholesome way, as in 'marry them and start a family, etc)
but how sad it would be if the older men would have been right about boys and chasing and ignorance and futility...
which begs the question, right?
What if you truly didn't know what to do once you 'caught up' to whatever it is that you are chasing?
whether it be a vice or a career or mate or a job or a car or.... whatever... will you know 'what to do with it' when you 'catch it'?
I heard someone a lot smarter than me (a large group of people, you know) say that we'd "better make sure what we are leaning our ladder up against before we start climbing"... (or something like that)
anyhow, just a thought...
let's take care that what we chase is worth chasing... and worth catching...
blessings
Probably a lot of truth to that... but, well, us boys grew up and most of us - thankfully - figured out "what to do with 'em".... (I mean that in a good wholesome way, as in 'marry them and start a family, etc)
but how sad it would be if the older men would have been right about boys and chasing and ignorance and futility...
which begs the question, right?
What if you truly didn't know what to do once you 'caught up' to whatever it is that you are chasing?
whether it be a vice or a career or mate or a job or a car or.... whatever... will you know 'what to do with it' when you 'catch it'?
I heard someone a lot smarter than me (a large group of people, you know) say that we'd "better make sure what we are leaning our ladder up against before we start climbing"... (or something like that)
anyhow, just a thought...
let's take care that what we chase is worth chasing... and worth catching...
blessings
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