where do 'ought' and 'should' belong?

Momma and Daddy used a lot of 'strategies' to teach their 4 kiddos.

I remember rewards. I remember punishment. I remember guilt.

Dad would tell you his parenting was a 'learn as you go' affair. He would admit (as most of us parents would) that there is no instruction manual... the training is definitely 'on-the-job'.

As a daddy of 3 girls, it is still a work in progress for me...

My least favorite method of motivation - both as a parent and a child - is guilt. I never have believed it was good or fair... but millions of parents use guilt to elicit desired behavior from their offspring. Because it is effective. It preys on our human desire to please... on our desire to perform to a standard and be recognized for what 'we do'...

but as I think of the 'daddy' metaphor that pervades the God story, I become more convinced that guilt has no place in motivating the Believer. none.

but for my entire life, preachers and teachers and youth leaders and, yes, parents have used words like 'ought to' and 'should' to produce behavior that they (the preacher/teacher/youthleader/parent) believe 'proves' the performers' faithfulness.

in fact, that guilt-based method causes us to perform like the Pavlovian Dog responding to a bell... and it has very little to do with Walk or Faith or Spirituality.

it has only to do with us, and how well we can perform. Sorta leaves out the CrossWork, doesn't it?

that's unhealthy. and it is unGodly.

and it causes us to forget the simple truth:

our 'works' are a result of our Salvation, NOT the cause of it.

no wonder we have such a hard time simply living in His Love and walking in Him.

so, where do 'ought' and 'should' belong?

nowhere in the life of a Believer, that's for sure!


Blessings!