Another bumper sticker reads: "Character is not made in a crisis, only exhibited"...
OK, before I 'cliche' you to death, here's the point:
We can make our plan and check off our checklist items, and we do... I can decide to act right and behave properly and I can execute on that decision. But if you truly want to know what is at my core, watch me when something doesn't go my way.... observe how I react when something bad happens... THAT is my true center. THAT is my true heart.
Along that line, I also believe the true 'me' comes out when I face conflict... when I disagree with someone (or when someone disagrees with me), then you can see who I really am.
Yeah, I know, sometimes we say stuff or do stuff 'in the heat of the moment' which we regret and apologize for (I find myself in that place more often than not)... but, on balance, I think we are at our truest 'self' when we face turmoil.
...and sometimes it ain't pretty. But that's ok. God has been working on me my whole life, and He certainly isn't finished... so there's still hope!
Group Dynamics:
As a local congregation grows, there will necessarily be conflict. It's just simple math: the more people who claim 'membership' to any group, the higher the chances that those people will 'bump into' each other.
I believe I have some 'reaction' choices when that happens:
- sulk or scream 'til I get my way
- stir the pot 'til I incite others to agree with me
- leave the group
- act with humility - listen and work through the conflict
- bear up and shut up - get over it
If I choose number 1 or 2, I am virtually guaranteeing a negative result for the group and for me. If I choose to leave (and sometimes this is the best solution, believe me), I have probably taken a higher road than the first two choices, but it may not be the very best solution...
If, however, I take a deep breath and react with humility or just decide to get over it, the group will likely grow in trust and maturity... and the group will probably learn from that result and be empowered to handle the next conflict with greater confidence and less anxiety.
When this 'group' is a body of believers in Jesus... when the members of this group claim to be Christians, adherents to the Bible, it gets really interesting. Because we are all a product of our upbringing, we tend to act like those before us acted. We tend to believe like our moms and dads believe... and that's perfectly fine... until we blur the line between what our moms and dads believed and what the Bible says....
I saw a survey once which asked the reader to check off which 'sayings' came from the Bible... it listed popular sayings like "cleanliness is next to Godliness", and "a penny saved is a penny earned", and "whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might"... it is surprising how many 'sayings' I thought were Bible passages that weren't! (by the way, how did you do with that short list?)
So it is (sometimes) with our congregational conflicts... someone will say "well, what about _________ ?" (fill in your hot button issue here)
"I know it makes me uncomfortable or I feel like that is not right or I know my mom and dad would have a problem with it... so, ergo, it MUST be 'Biblically' wrong!"
I am all about tradition... I believe tradition is morally, ethically, Biblically NEUTRAL! Some are good for the group and some are destructive to the group... and some are neither... they.... just are!
I am also not interested in throwing our traditions in the trash can just to be different or to push the envelope.
As I have said before, I will discuss tradition as long as someone cares to engage me in the discussion, and as long as we can agree it is tradition... and I will happily talk about Biblical silence and its possible implications, but I refuse to be involved in either discussion when someone - either ignorantly or knowingly - elevates traditions of man (or their 'spin' on Biblical silence) to Biblical truth.
....continued....
Blessings!
2 comments:
tim: the thing that makes me love you more each day is not your talents, of which you possess many, but your ability to become more transparent in searching for god's truth about our role as the church and how we are to respond to the world. unfortunately sometimes that search does expose us not just to others but scarily to ourselves.
it became apparent to me that more things came to the surface than we would like to admit wed night.
on the surface, it seems bad but i believe much good will come out of that meeting. too much to discuss here so i'll stick to the main point of our last discussion. i do not believe this is an issue of tradition but as i stated wed. night, it is the order in which God set things in motion, not in one bible verse but in the entirety of mankind chronicled in His Word. please read a recent article by Dave Miller, Phd, listed on the Apologetics Press as article 2694, "Female Leadership and the Church". i found this yesterday as i was searching to better understand whether this was purely an issue of "tradition" or the result of God's design. i believe the latter is the case and that no matter what the world calls it, we must as maturing saints respect it not as "traditon" but for what it is and what it must remain if christianity is to survive the increasing attempts by the world to erase it entirely.
i have also read excerpts from the "Syriac Didascalia" and the "Apostolic Constitution" which are the first ever documented examples of the expanded roles of women in the church both in northern syria in the 3rd century and later in the more roman-catholic writings of the 4th-5th century that were adapted from the 3rd century "didascalia" .
both were an early attempt,some scholars believe, to describe the functions of the early church.
most people today that advocate increased "official" responsiblity for women in the church have either used this text or letters from the non-christian governor of Bythynia, Pliny, A.D.110, to facilitate this expanded role of women today. neither of these sources are regarded as canon and as Miller points out the roles described are certainly not what most "modernist"(my term not his) would aspire to if their design is more control or participation in church function.
although i do believe there is tremendous opportunity for growth in the "church" from the acceptance and practice of new ideas that have been tried elsewhere, i do not believe we can ignore the "ordered design" of God, Jesus, man, woman.
in christian love, johnny c
Johnny C - I truly appreciate the spirit with which you responded to my post... it is indeed that type of heart which will help all of us be more open to the Holy Spirit's leading when we disagree.
I started to post a very involved comment here, then decided I would make it a new post.... please see this new post for more discussion... God Bless!
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