grudges are heavy

do you carry past pain? are the times when someone mistreated you always at the front of your mind? Do you recall - with crystal clarity - when and how this person or that person hurt you?

Please let it go.


On most days, I visit my momma's grave. I know she is in heaven... and I know that her gravesite holds nothing but the shell she shed... I get that. But I stop by the place where her body is buried, nonetheless.

It's a pretty place... quiet... and, on days like today, it is especially beautiful! Bright sunshine and cool temperatures and low humidity... Momma loved days like today.

As I stand beside her headstone, I notice the dates shown: 1935 - 1996... and I think about the dash. Just a small horizontal line connecting the first and last date...

Mom's dash was very full! Great Husband, 4 loving children, 8 grands (during her life) and a lifeful of living... During mom's last days, she told me several times that she was ready to go be with Jesus. But she would really like to see her kiddos continue to grow and her grandkids grow up...

I guess if I were pressed, I might say those were 'regrets' she had... kinda weird to talk about now...

as I looked around, I saw that there are are other headstones that show a 'born' date but no 'died' date.... just a four digit number and a dash:

1943 -

1961 -

1928 -

and it occurs to me that we - those of us with the open dashes - have living left to do... and we have opportunities to make things better. To correct mistakes and right wrongs... and to forget the times when people didn't treat us well...


so, if you are carrying bad feelings for anyone... but especially family... drop them. Drop them now. Forget who said what and who was right and who was wrong...

I have watched as some around me held onto grudges and 'wronged' feelings... until, finally, it dominates their every thought process. It literally consumes them... to the point where the grudges they carry become their identity! and, sadly, they may as well have cancer because they are literally being eaten from the inside...

and for what?

Here's the deal: there's only One Who won't ever disappoint... only One who will always always be there!

but people are people and they are gonna disappoint you... so get used to it! Get over it! That doesn't mean all people are bad or that everyone is out to get you... it just means we're human... even those with the best intentions will let you down or do things differently than you might...

so what do you do with that? you got two choices: a) know it going in and live with it, or b) be surprised and let down and hurt and always upset and miserable and make it your life's work to remember every wrong ever done to you...

know this: we are all gonna 'close the dash' someday, and your kids or friends are gonna put your shell in the ground... and, as far as this life is concerned, that will be that!

So how you gonna fill in the dash?

May I suggest that we all try to be in the constant state of forgiving? We all need mercy from each other... so live the way Jesus did: always eager to forgive and move on...


God Bless!