helping those who don't change...

Have you ever been frustrated with someone you are helping?

You can see very clearly how they need to change... you are willing to help, but you know they need to change... you continue to serve, but you don't see any difference in them...

does any of this sound familiar?

I visited a friend today. As he looked through the 1-inch Plexiglas which separates freedom from incarceration, his eyes told a story of remorse and embarrassment... he knows he messed up. The orange jumpsuit and the buzzer which signaled the beginning of our visiting session were stark reminders of another bad decision in a series of bad decisions...

In the not-so-distant past, I probably would have felt like my friend was getting just what he deserved... that I had helped him enough, and he failed ME... Before I became a member of PA (pharisees anonymous... hello, my name is Tim, and I am a recovering pharisee), I was much more aware of justice...(God is changing my heart now. I am by no means 'there' yet, but I am becoming a more merciful person... mainly because my wife continually reminds me that 'it's not about me!')

I looked at my friend today and I wanted to hug him and tell him it was going to be alright. He wanted to offer excuses for his latest mistake... and because of that, I believe he is not at 'rock bottom' yet. I have a close friend who watched as his own son dealt with similar demons of addiction and dependency... he told me last night that the one thing he told his boy over and over again was this: "God is waiting for you to call on Him... He can deliver you, but you have to call on Him and rely completely on Him."

And it hit me... that is exactly what God desires from every one of us! We are in the ungodly habit of categorizing sin... making some worse than others... you see, I sleep better at night knowing that my lying is not nearly as bad as your adultery... that my gluttony is much less egregious than your stealing... which obviously means that you need to call on God much worse than I do... and that's simply fantasy! To God, all sin is abomination.

With regard to my friend, my faithless mind wonders how his story will 'end'... Each time I think he is turning a corner, he falls... (As I write this, I realize that is precisely how God must feel about me... I know He must look at me and wonder when I am truly going to turn the corner and allow Him to write the next chapter in my life...)

Please pray for my friend... his name is Mike. Pray that he will forget the excuses and throw away his fear; pray that he will truly call on the name of God.

May we all grow to the point that we fully trust in His mercy and His grace... and may God help us to extend patience and mercy to the people we are trying to help.