Well, we got back from York last night... after delivering Caitlin and getting her all set in her dorm room and handling all the logistical and financial arrangements, we said our goodbyes in the parking lot of Thomas Hall, her home for the next 9 months...
The saying goodbye was really very hard. I thought I was prepared for it, but I was wrong.
Kelly and I feel very blessed that Caitlin will be surrounded by the York family... at every turn this weekend, we were reminded of how wonderful an opportunity this is, and with every new acquaintance there, our decision was positively reinforced. York truly seems to be a faith community where students are embraced and watched out for and loved and taken care of... we have no regrets at all.
But the inescapable symbolism of delivering our first child to college is palpable... it paints everything with a certain hue... and while we are indescribably excited for her as she enters this transitional chapter, we are selfishly sad for the chapters which are past. When we got home last night, we all went into her room and wept... it was just as she left it, with her pictures and awards and stuff still on the walls... (that changed quickly, however... Cara moved her stuff into the closet and made it her new room pretty fast!)
I guess it's sort of like reading a really well-spun novel... you are so invested in the characters and the plot and the story that you do not want it to end...
...so we must gain perspective and realize that this is not the end... this is but a chapter... we believe God has so much in store for Caitlin... but it is unknown to us (and her) just what lies ahead... and that is what exposes my lack of faith... the fact that I want to see beyond the curve in the road ahead... instead of enjoying the ride... (OK, now this has just become a weird metaphor-mixing rant...)
As I write this, I feel His Spirit giving me peace... I really do!
I am looking forward to each new day for Caitlin. And I am trying to remember who is at the controls... and that He is a much better driver than I am... and I am resolved to enjoy the ride...
Blessings!
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1 comment:
Thanks for sharing, and putting into words what we all feel at such times. We all need reminding of Who is at the controls. We are praying for you all, that God will use this time to grow you even stronger - and we know He will! Caitlin is destined for great things because of her dependance on Him!
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