why do I fight His leading?

I have often observed that it is much easier seeing the Spirit's guidance looking backward than it is to see His Hand while you're being 'guided'...

For example, it's hard to see how an illness or job change or the death of someone close to you could be constrewed as Heavenly guidance, especially when you're knee deep in it... we usually think those things 'just happen' or are caused by the devil or are 'spirit neutral'... but when we have time to look back at such events, we are usually able to see how God worked in our lives to challenge us and mold us into more of what He wants us to be...

Sometimes it is really hard to see how His hand guides us... (my mom died 10 years ago, and I still can't see that one...) but most of the time, I have found it relatively easy to discover how God intervened and used some event or someone to help shape me.

I suppose I am able to see those things more clearly when I am looking for them, and less inclined to see them when I am not.

So why do I fight His leading? Why is it I consistently act like I am at the controls? Why is it I jerk the wheel away from Him and try to take over? Especially after 45 years of watching Him at work, navigating my 'ship' so well (maybe it's because I consider the ship 'mine')... you would think I would have enough faith to completely let go, but I still think I know better...

Let me encourage us all to seek the Spirit's guidance, pray for God's Hand to lead us, and submit to His will for our lives...

Blessings!